


The Avengers and Twitter DONT mix

by Opacityxl



Series: Peter & the adventures of twitter [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: :(, :), :/, Avengers - Freeform, Domestic Avengers, I love u pete, Other, TONY IS A DAD IM TELLING YOU, This is mostly peter parker, Tony is a dad, avengers twitter, comment, james and Steve r gay for each other oops, leave some kudos if u like, mcu - Freeform, sorry for so many tags
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-03
Updated: 2018-12-23
Packaged: 2019-09-06 06:19:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16826881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Opacityxl/pseuds/Opacityxl
Summary: So I had this idea at 12 for an avengers twitter fic tho this is mostly peter p and tony stark, I still had a lot of fun writing it!! And there will probably be more chapters :)





	1. Peter’s bi and gets his wisdom teeth out

**Author's Note:**

> So if the character go like this
> 
> Random name: OH MY GOD SO CUTE  
> Bobby Johnson: my gf just fell asleep on me 
> 
> It means they r retweeting thanks for reading :)

**@natasharomanov**

_ @peterparker  _ and  _ @tonystark _ were napping together, could you possibly imagine anything cuter???

_ 5,067 comments 8,089 retweets 567,987 likes _

**|**

**@peterparker**

I hate u 

**|**

**@natasharomanov**

I love you too, Peter Stark <3

**|**

**@peterparker**

>:(

  
  


**_@avengers.bitch:_ ** can y’all believe?? My heart!!!

**@natasharomanov**

I love you too, Peter Stark <3

_ 56 comments 23 retweets 145 likes _

**|**

**@iloveyoutonystark**

I know!!! Their relationship is honestly adorable 

**|**

**@avengers.bitch**

I KNOW

-

**@peterparker**

I have a cat now????

_ 2,566 comments 1,677 retweets 8,356 likes _

**|**

**@shuriwakandian**

UH?!?! WHAT?!!

**|**

**@peterparker**

I found her on the street!! She’s v precious and fluffy. 

  
  


**@tonystark:** no. no. nope.

**@peterparker**

I have a cat now????

_ 10,576 comments 12,474 retweets 948,088 likes _

**|**

**@peterparker**

TONY PLEASE!!!

**|**

**@tonystark**

Peter no, we don’t need pets. 

**|**

**@peterparker**

WE HAVE ENOUGH ROOM PLEASEPLEASE

**|**

**@urmyfav.natasha**

Tony let him have a cat. Do it for us!

  
  


**@peterparker**

me n tony made a deal. If I get one million likes and comments I can keep the cat. Help a boy out pls :(

_ 1,567,987 comments 886,576 retweets 1,986,736 likes _

**|**

**@mjbitch**

Peter, I’m commenting a lot just so I can visit ur cat 

**|**

**@peterparker**

Thank u, mj:)

**|**

**@nedleeds**

Thank u, next 

**|**

**@shuriwakandian**

Thank u, next 

**|**

**@shuriwakandian**

SNENE I DIDNT KNOW WE WOULD COMMENT THE SAME THING NED!!! ILY!!!

**|**

**@nedleeds**

great minds think alike am I right? 

**|**

**@mjbitch**

Wrong.

**|**

**@peterparker**

wrong

**|**

**@http.avengerschokeme**

LMAO

  
  


**@tonystark**

Okay, I underestimated how easy it would take Peter to get one million likes and comments. You guys win for now…

**|**

**@peterparker**

lmao yeah right 

**|**

**@tonystark**

zip it or you’re grounded 

**|**

**@iloveyoutonystark**

since when can u ground kids that aren’t yours?

**|**

**@tonystark**

since now.

  
  


**@iloveyoutonystark**

IM CRYING RNENENWJ TONY JUST REPLIED TO MY COMMENT!!! I LOVE HIM SM WOW!!

_ 345 comments 123 retweets 478 likes  _

**|**

**@peterparker**

u guys r becoming too powerful.

**|**

**@iloveyoutonystark**

I love you. 

**|**

**@peterparker**

big fan acc energy 

**|**

**@avengeme.net**

Peter’s the cutest fr

**|**

**@iloveyoutonystark**

Right???

-

**@peterparker:** ur like the worst kind of drunk aunt

**@millennialwanda**

I think I just hallucinated while drinking wine and saw peter eating???? What??? 

_ 7,556 comments 10,474 retweets 15,736 likes _

**|**

**@urbsf**

LMAO THIS SHIT-

**|**

**@millennialwanda**

Peter ur such an ass I’m only fucking 23 

**|**

**@peterparker**

a woman never tells her age 

**|**

**@shuriwakandian**

SNJSJE PETER I-

  
  


**@incorrectavengers**

_ screenshotted Peter’s comment: _

**_@peterparker_ **

_ a woman never tells her age  _

THIS IS SO FUCKINGFUNNY I SNORTED OUT MY MILKNSNSJW.

_ 1,566 comments 987 retweets 1,322 comments  _

**|**

**@myaestheticisu**

hes secretly the meanest girl ever

**|**

**@incorrectavengers**

bitch??? It ain’t a secret no more!!!

-

**@buckyjames**

Steve just broke the door???  **_@tonystark_ **

_ 10,576 comments 4,568 retweets 12,566 likes _

**|**

**@steverogers**

SNITCH

**|**

**@tonystark**

I would’ve figured it out anyway, thanks Bucky. 

**|**

**@buckyjames**

You’re very welcome

**|**

**@peterparker**

How did he?? Break?? The??? Door??

**|**

**@buckyjames**

He tried to kick through it like the kool aid man.

**|**

**@peterparker**

LMAO WHAT WHY

**|**

**@steverogers**

he looks cool doing it in the commercial! you wouldn’t understand

**|**

**@peterparker**

ur right I wouldn’t :(

**|**

**@tonystark**

Don’t even think about it.

-

**@millennialwanda**

BI PEOPLE I NEED YOUR POWER 

_ 5,567 comments 7,893 retweets 8,467 likes  _

**|**

**@peterparker**

I CAME AS SOON AS I GOT UR NOTIFICATION

**|**

**@iloveyoutonystark**

since when r u bi??

**|**

**@peterparker**

since I was 15??? do people not know???

**|**

**@iloveyoutonystark**

no

**|**

**@millennialwanda**

no

**|**

**@mjbitch**

no

**|**

**@nedleeds**

no

**|**

**@tonystark**

no???

  
  


**@peterparker**

so apparently people aren’t up to date but I’m bi so

_ 15,574 comments 10,376 retweets 20,576 likes  _

**|**

**@iloveyoutonystark**

I’m very disappointed that I did not know this :(

**|**

**@peterparker**

It’s ok

-

**@mjbitch**

lmao remember when u liked Harry  **_@peterparker_ **

_ 3,456 comments 2,766 retweets 3,765 likes _

**|**

**@peterparker**

ok really

**|**

**@mjbitch**

:/

**|**

**@nedleeds**

lmao remember when Peter liked Shuri 

**|**

**@shuriwakandian**

WAIT WHAT

**|**

**@peterparker**

CAN WE PLEASE STOP TALKING ABOUT MY PAST CRUSHES THANK YOU

**|**

**@shuriwakandian**

aww u had a crush on me 

**|**

**@mjbitch**

he likes his men white and his girls dark

**|**

**@peterparker**

I-

**|**

**@mjbitch**

That’s why he’s dating me ;)

**|**

**@nedleeds**

SINCE WHEN TF 

**|**

**@peterparker**

Ned we literally told u 

**|**

**@nedleeds**

WHEN

**|**

**@mjbitch**

Two months ago?? We were eating lunch and I said “Peter and I are dating.” And you said “finally” and chugged your whole bottle of Creme soda 

**|**

**@nedleeds**

oh yeah that’s a day I’d like to forget 

**|**

**@peterparker**

Yeah man..

-

**@avengers**

holding hands with a guy when ur a guy is gay  **_@steverogers_ ** hold hands with me????

_ 1,467,765 comments 987,676 retweets 1,456,566 likes _

**|**

**@peterparker**

this is Bucky guys just so were being super clear.

**|**

**@httpurman**

was he drunk tf

**|**

**@peterparker**

no he was on pain meds 

**|**

**@bigpp**

oh lmao

**|**

**@peterparker**

**_@bigpp_ ** ur name had me laughing for 20 mins

**|**

**@bigpp**

thanks bud

**|**

**@tonystark**

Peter ur almost 18 and you laughed at a username called big pp?

**|**

**@peterparker**

B I G P P

**|**

**@tonystark**

Disowned 

-

**@tonystark**

Hey guys Peter is under anesthesia right now to get his wisdom teeth removed. So expect a bunch of confusing tweets from him.

_ 16,765 comments 10,736 retweets 21,476 likes _

**|**

**@mjbitch**

I’m ready for a bunch of CONFUSING texts from him

**|**

**@iloveyoutonystark**

he’s already confusing without the anesthesia

**|**

**@shuriwakandian**

right?

  
  


**@bb.avengeme**

I know everyone’s super excited abt Peter’s tweets coming up?? But what about the fact that Tony went to the dentist w/him?? We Stan a father/son relationship :)))

_ 186 comments 245 retweets 287 likes _

**|**

**@incorrectavengers**

I know I freaked when I saw that!!! They r so cute 

**|**

**@httpbitch.com**

100% excited for his tweets tho

  
  


**@peterparker**

can animals be apart of the lgbt community????? I feel bad for them like a lot bad cause they can’t be gay or come out. 

**|**

**@nedleeds**

how r u feeling bud

**|**

**@peterparker**

NED ANSWER THE QUESTION 

**|**

**@mjbitch**

Peter stop texting me the same thing you tweeted over and over again. 

**|**

**@shuriwakandian**

this is so funny I-

**|**

**@peterparker**

IT ISNT ITS SWEIOUS 

**|**

**@iloveyoutonystark**

S W E I O U S 

  
  


**@peterparker**

PLEASE RESPOND TO MY LAST TWEET

_ 3,566 comments 1,456 retweets 4,566 likes _

  
  


**@peterparker** _posted a poll_

Can animals be in lgbt

**_YES_ ** \-  **87%**

**NO** \-  **13%**

_ 20,467 comments 15,764 retweets 25,476 likes _

**|**

**@natasharomanov**

peter…

**|**

**@millennialwanda**

he’s probably so out of it lmfao 

-

**@tonystark**

peter cried for like twenty minutes because people kept voting no on his poll.

_ 21,567 comments 18,567 retweets 26,768 likes  _

**|**

**@mjbitch**

Who voted no on his poll?I’d like to have a chat >:(

**|**

**@nedleeds**

he called me forty times as he sobbed about how he wished cats had gay rights

**|**

**@mjbitch**

he FACETIMED me!!! Imagine seeing the tears run down his face as he hugged his cat half-to death. I had to reassure him that he could make a lgbt pride parade for his animals just so he could go take a nap.

**|**

**@shuriwakandian**

Ur the best gf I couldn’t even handle one text lmao

**|**

**@mjbitch**

it was a thirty minute call of him crying

  
  


**@iloveyoutonystark**

Peter crying abt animals not having gay rights is the purest thing I’ve ever seen

_ 887 comments 456 retweets 987 likes _

**|**

**@peterparker**

I’m v embarrased but the tweet got a lot of likes so I’m not deleting them 

**|**

**@mjbitch**

Mood

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	2. PETER GETS HIT ON

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ok so the avengers 4 trailer ended me real good so here’s a break from that also I UPDATED WHAT

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I put a little bit of oneshots in the story to make it more fluffy :/

Tony walked into  _ one  _ of the living rooms of the tower, less often used then others, to check on Peter. The last time he took a peak, Peter was miserable glaring at the television like it did him wrong.

Michelle had come to visit him and claimed she brought soup from her mother (mj’s parents  _ loved  _ Peter.). Although, Tony could see the slight crease in her brow and figured she didn’t come just because of the soup.

It had been an hour so Tony hoped Peter had at least eaten some of the food. The older man popped his head in, not that Michelle could see him with her scrolling on her phone.

Peter’s face was squished by Michelle’s thigh as his head lay on her lap. He was sleeping, Tony realized after awhile. He looked peaceful like that, his cat tucked between his knees as Michelle ran her fingers through his hair. 

Tony smiled and snapped a picture,  _ Twitter would love this _ .

  
  


**@tonystark**

They grow up so fast :’)

_ michelleandpeter.pdf _

_ 876,778 comments 745,322 retweets 837,836 likes _

**|**

**@natasharomanov**

don’t let him grow up too fast, Stark 

**|**

**@millennialwanda**

PROTECTIVE MAMA BEAR: ACTIVATED 

**|**

**@natasharomanov**

shut up I saw u cuddling with him on the couch last week

**|**

**@millenialwanda**

his hair is soft

**|**

**@shuriwakandian**

ok but it is tho

**|**

**@nedleeds**

he doesn’t use conditioner 

**|**

**@shuriwakandian**

wtf really??

**-**

**@shuriwakandian**

I AM GONNA DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO SEE PETER PARKER AFTER PUTTING CONDITIONER IN HIS HAIR

_ 456,456 comments 343,432 retweets 438,382 likes _

**|**

**@peterparker**

u could’ve just asked 

**|**

**@mjbitch**

aren’t u still sick? why aren’t you sleeping

**|**

**@peterparker**

sleeping gets tiring u know

**|**

**@mjbitch**

go back to SLEEP

**|**

**@peterparker**

no

  
  


**@mjbitch**

he’s awake and he won’t go back to bed, and he’s on his phone!!!!  **_@tonystark_ **

_ 4,566 comments 5,566 retweets 5,567 likes _

**|**

**@tonystark**

on it

**|**

**@peterparker**

can we pls think rationally before we do anything we’ll regret?

**|**

**@natasharomanov**

no

  
  


**@tonystark**

I can’t find peter??? 

_ 456,432 comments 365,765 retweets 497,766 likes _

**|**

**@peterparker**

haha

**|**

**@tonystark**

where are you

**|**

**@millenialwanda**

he’s with me rn

**|**

**@peterparker**

ok rude 

-

**@avengersslut**

is peter actually sick cause in that photo he looked like death 

_ 345 comments 234 retweets 387 likes _

**|**

**@iloveyoutonystark**

he looked so bad I feel bad for our bby 

**|**

**@buttonnoseandlongtoes**

peter if u see this pls let out a memo on how ur feeling <3

  
  


_ Replying to  _ **_@buttonnoseandlongtoes_ **

**@peterparker**

y’all are so nice?

_ 2,345 comments 1,456 retweets 4,455 likes _

**|**

**@buttonnoseandlongtoes**

:) 

**|**

**@peterparker**

I’ll tweet a memo for u rn

**|**

**@iloveyoutonystark**

wow  **_@buttonnoseandlongtoes_ ** getting the recognition they deserve 

  
  


**@peterparker**

here’s a memo for someone who asked: I have a 101 fever, and I can’t breathe through my nose :/

_ 234,432 comments 134,533 retweets 234,456 likes _

**|**

**@tonystark**

peter you better go back to sleep right now or I’ll MAKE YOU

**|**

**@millenialwanda**

papa bear: ACTIVATED

**|**

**@tonystark**

where is he, I’m not playing games anymore Wanda >:(

**|**

**@millenialwanda**

third living room 

-

Tony rushed to the living room, recalling vividly how this was Peter’s favorite only because of the soft couches.

He reached the open doorway, breathing heavily through his nose as he saw a mob of curly hair.

“Peter.” He boomed, ‘dad-voice’ seeping through. 

Peter startled, whole body jerking as he let his phone drop to the floor. Tony thought it was cute how his spider-sense didn’t go off around him, but then he remembered he was supposed to be mad. 

The teen looked absolutely terrible, his eyes were red-rimmed and Tony could hear the rattle of his lungs each time he breathed. “Why aren’t you resting?” Peter shrugged as he shrunk, picking up his phone from the floor and setting it next to him.

“Not tired.” The spider whispered into the room, his face betrayed the lie. Tony sighed and sat next to him, gratefully accepting the head falling on his shoulder.

“Wanda’s got you covered.” Tony murmured into Peter’s hair as he felt Peter laugh, body shaking as he did.

Peter smiled sleepily, eyes shutting as he stifled a yawn. “Tell her I said thanks.” He mumbled, his body relaxing as he fell asleep.

-

**@tonystark**

**_@millenialwanda_ ** peter says thanks

_ 345,533 comments 455,677 retweets 455,472 likes _

**|**

**@millenialwanda**

<3

-

**@clintclintclint**

I made a Twitter for you Peter.

9,566 comments 8,566 retweets 10,532 likes

**|**

**@peterparker**

Finally Clint, you have to make an iconic tweet that everyone will love at least once. 

**|**

**@clintclintclint**

got it kid.

**|**

**@steverogers**

this is going to go bad very fast.

  
  


**@clintclintclint**

don’t do drugs kidz #peterthisisiconic!

_ 145,542 comments 99,473 retweets 176,762 likes _

**|**

**@steverogers**

not that bad actually 

**|**

**@peterparker**

why did he spell kids with a z

**|**

**@clintclintclint**

Is that not what kids do ?

**|**

**@peterparker**

no sorry :(

**|**

**@clintclintclint**

apology accepted :)

**|**

**@treeleaves**

pure!!!

**@peterparker**

why is #peterthisisiconic! trending lmao

_ 82,345 comments 78,422 retweets 98,456 likes _

**|**

**@shuriwakandian**

it’s funny 

  
  


**-**

**@mjbitch**

**_@tonystark_ ** come get ur son from school

_ 3,456 comments 2,356 retweets 4,754 likes  _

**|**

**@tonystark**

what why?

**|**

**@nedleeds**

he punched flash, they’re calling May but she’s on a business trip.

**|**

**@tonystark**

wait why did he punch flash?

**|**

**@mjbitch**

he was bullying a kid for being gay.

**|**

**@iloveyoutonystark**

I know I shouldn’t condone for punching someone in the face but Peter is a true hero

**|**

**@mjbitch**

I know I love him 

**|**

**@beans**

was his nose bleeding and shit

**|**

**@mjbitch**

yeah he broke Flash’s nose.

-

**@theflashthompson**

fuck u parker 

_ 134 comments 103 retweets 178 likes _

**|**

**@peterparker**

maybe another time babe :/

**|**

**@mjbitch**

ok why- did that make me jealous 

**|**

**@nedleeds**

I mean it’s kinda hot tho

**|**

**@peterparker**

ew ok this conversation is over

  
  


**@hotavengersnews**

Is the avenger’s intern, Peter Parker dating Flash Thompson? YOU TELL US!

_ 134,428 comments 123,642 retweets 145,322 likes _

**|**

**@mjbitch**

ok so when me n peter admit we r dating you don’t care. cold.

**|**

**@peterparker**

anything for the money, I thought u were better than that  **_@hotavengersnews_ **

**_|_ **

**@theflashthompson**

I would never date u ever ew

-

**@vogue**

Peter Parker ( **_@peterparker_ ** ) photoshoot with Tony Stark ( **_@tonystark)_ ** scheduled to be released tomorrow at 9AM est.

_ 123,456 comments _ 145,422 retweets 178,322 likes

**|**

**@iloveyoutonystark**

I’m ready to make so many fucking edits

**|**

**@mjbitch**

Ngl Parker looked hella fine in those shots :)

**|**

**@millennialwanda**

being bi means thinking BOTH mj and peter r hot

**|**

**@bibichthanks**

ugh ur mind

**@vogue**

_ Releasedphotosoftonyandpeter.pdf _

Come get your mans

_ 234,422 comments 255,432 retweets 297,422 likes _

**|**

**@peterparker**

THE CAPTION IM-

**|**

**@theavengerscompleteme**

these photos radiate so much fuckboy energy

**|**

**@shuriwakandian**

wtf THEY DO

**-**

**@iloveyoutonystark**

tony and peter r the best photoshoot duo ever sorry someone had to say it

_ 3,456 comments 2,456 retweets 3,566 likes  _

**-**

**@thor**

:-)

_ 345,421 comments 387,322 retweets 398,422 likes _

**|**

**@peterparker**

I!!!love!!!you!!!

**|**

**@thor**

I love you as well, Peter. 

**|**

**@lowkeythoooo**

his grammar is surprisingly good 

**|**

**@tonystark**

he pounded on my door at four am so I could write that comment for him.

**|**

**@bean**

cuteeee

-

**@mjbitch**

some guy just hit on peter I’m shook

_ 145,421 comments 123,432 comments 188,422 likes _

_ see thread _

**|**

**@mjbitch**

he was hot too wtf

**@suckmytoes**

hitting on peter is such a power move already but being a guy ahhhh

_ 123 comments 145 retweets 178 likesl _

**|**

**@shuriwakandian**

Peter’s such a dumbass he didn’t even know how to act.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	3. HARLEY KEENER and TONY GIVES PETER THE TALK

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I love writing these sm, but idk if you GUYS like it so comment if you do or don’t. It’s all up to u:)

**@buckyjames**

**_@tonystark_ ** I’m adopting peter now thanks

_ 134,422 comments 145,421 retweets 188,422 likes _

**|**

**@tonystark**

first no, second why

**|**

**@natasharomanov**

Bucky and Steve were walking together and holding hands, and some homophobic woman kept cussing them out. So before I stepped in peter yelled “they’ll get more dick then you ever will.”

**|**

**@shuriwakandian**

ICON OH MY GOD DNNDSJEJ

**|**

**@iloveyoutonystark**

NO FUCKING WAYNEWJJ 

  
  


**@peterparker**

I think I’m in bucky’s will I don’t know he’s crying help

_ 123,321 comments 143,321 retweets 134,322 likes _

**|**

**@natasharomanov**

awww :)

-

**@cut**

Peter Parker ( **_@peterparker_ ** ), James ‘Bucky’ Barnes ( **_@buckyjames_ ** ), Steve Rogers ( **_@steverogers_ ** ), Shuri ‘princess of wakanda’ ( **_@shuriwakandian_ ** ), and Wanda Maximoff ( **_@millenialwanda_ ** ) will be starring in a video of ours called lgbt meet homophobic people

_ See thread  _

**|**

**@cut**

we are so excited for them to be in!

_ 234,422 comments 332,321 retweets 454,322 likes _

**|**

**@mjbitch**

shits going down lmao

**|**

**@nedleeds**

I’m scared to see this 

-

**@cut**

Video is released, let us know your thoughts!

_ 134,322 comments 143,321 retweets 177,532 likes _

**|**

**@shuriwakandian**

it went trending in an hour????

**|**

**@iloveyoutonystark**

this video was beautiful not gonna lie, even though so many people didn’t look at it from a different perspective. The way your guys’ facial expressions reacted to negative comments was hilarious.

**|**

**@bbbglockbanned**

lmao when the guy went “well I picked you cause ur half gay so ur a little fine.” To Peter and Peter gave him the nastiest glare 

**|**

**@boy**

dude it was so funny when the man said “I could do without the gay parade.” And Peter said, “don’t go” I SCREAMED THIS BOY IS SO OUTSPOKEN

**|**

**@bitchwhatggg**

I know he really is the best.

-

**@qna**

stupidest thing peter has done?  **_@tonystark_ **

_ 3,456 comments 3,784 retweets 3,983 likes _

**|**

**@tonystark**

that’s hard

**|**

**@peterparker**

ok really

**|**

**@tonystark**

he was on painkillers and kept talking to this pole thinking it was me.

**|**

**@peterparker**

ONE TIME AND YOU NEVER LET IT GO

**|**

**@shuriwakandian**

that’s sounds like something you’d do sober.

  
  


**@avengersnoticeme**

Do peter and tony know that literally everyone thinks they’re father and son

_ 123 comments 145 retweets 198 likes _

**|**

**@mjbitch**

they dumb DUMB

**|**

**@nedleeds**

they stupid STUPID

-

**@metalbitch**

is peter actually dumb cause he seems so ignorant on twitter but I feel like he’s a genius irl cause he works with tony but maybe that’s cause they r like super close???

_ 234 comments 345 retweets 287 likes _

**|**

**@iloveyoutonystark**

I think he’s a genius playing it off as one of us :o

**|**

**@mjbitch**

he has a 4.7 gpa giving u a lil taste u feel me

**|**

**@metalbitch**

NO WAY TF

  
  


**@peterparker**

uh mjs making me confirm how smart I am???

_ 99,431 comments 98,421 retweets 102,422 likes _

**|**

**@tonystark**

say something smart

**|**

**@peterparker**

something smart 

**|**

**@tonystark**

no dinner 

**|**

**@shuriwakandian**

that fast huh

-

**@buckyjames**

Peter, me and Steve would like to apologize. Not in person cause that would be awkward.

_ 143,421 comments 167,432 retweets 198,321 likes _

**|**

**@peterparker**

IM SEVENTEEN MY EYES WERE NOT READY

**|**

**@shuriwakandian**

oh no pete 

**|**

**@mjbitch**

but we-?

**|**

**@peterparker**

dont.

**|**

**@tonystark**

no let her finish the sentence. 

**|**

**@millenialwanda**

this got 12422x more interesting.

**|**

**@tonystark**

I’ll see you at the tower, Peter Benjamin Parker.

**|**

**@nedleeds**

you in trouble, boy.

  
  


**@peterparker**

I’m genuinely so scared, my hands are shaking.

_ 134,311 comments 132,321 retweets 178,322 likes _

**|**

**@mjbitch**

I’m so sorry.

**|**

**@shuriwakandian**

LMAO THIS KEEPS GETTING FUNNIER

-

**@millenialwanda**

for those asking cause I was there, Tony gave peter the talk for two hours cause he had a hard time putting a condom on a banana.

_ 345,311 comments 398,421 retweets 399,321 likes _

**|**

**@dodo**

I’m screaming omg

**|**

**@millenialwanda**

and then peter went ‘yeah I know how to put it on can I go now.’ And tony hit him upside the head. 

-

**@peterparker**

>:(

_ 234,422 comments 213,321 retweets 298,321 likes _

**|**

**@steverogers**

what happened

**|**

**@peterparker**

ur boyfriend happened

**|**

**@buckyjames**

I BEAT YOU AT SCRABBLE ONCE CALM DOWN

**|**

**@peterparker**

>:’(

**|**

**@mjbitch**

r u ok

**|**

**@peterparker**

I’m angry sad

**|**

**@mjbitch**

it’s ok bb

**|**

**@peterparker**

>:’)

**|**

**@nedleeds**

ur guys relationship is so confusing.

**|**

**@peterparker**

:/

-

**@shuriwakandian**

Mj and peter r so pure together, you wouldn’t even know their real personalities if u saw them with each other. 

_ 145,321 comments 156,422 retweets 178,421 likes _

**|**

**@inplsbutnotforever**

shippppppppp

**|**

**@iloveyoutonystark**

they r so cute together :)

-

**@peterparker**

can someone help me I’m tired and I forgot how to spell ambidextrous

_ 465,322 comments 497,321 retweets 501,321 likes _

**|**

**@tonystark**

go to sleep bud

**|**

**@peterparker**

no

**|**

**@nedleeds**

dude ??? You spelt it in ur tweet go to sleep 

**|**

**@natasharomanov**

it is five am why are you up, do u have school?

**|**

**@shuriwakandian**

It’s a Saturday I bet he stayed up all night 

**|**

**@mjbitch**

he was researching all night how to convince tony to get him a dog.

**|**

**@tonystark**

he did that for me? :)

**|**

**@mjbitch**

yes he wrote an essay

  
  


**@tonystark**

peter can sleep anywhere Jesus

_ 198,422 comments 199,322 retweets 201,322 likes _

**|**

**@mjbitch**

where is he now 

**|**

**@tonystark**

this has happened before?????

**|**

**@mjbitch**

yeah once I found him curled up between the washer and the dryer.

**|**

**@mjbitch**

I have pics

**|**

**@tonystark**

send 

-

**@nedleeds**

welcome to another episode of mj and tony try to get peter to sleep

_ 98,321 comments 99,321 retweets 103,321 likes _

**|**

**@shuriwakandian**

still? I thought he was already asleep.

**|**

**@nedleeds**

he got a burst of energy and now he’s eating everything in the kitchen

**|**

**@shuriwakandian**

are you watching everything unfold 

**|**

**@nedleeds**

yes I came for a sleepover but instead I got a show

**|**

**@iloveyoutonystark**

pls give thread of everything happening Ned

**|**

**@nedleeds**

will do

  
  


**@nedleeds**

Episode 1: getting peter to sleep ft. Mj and tony 

_ see thread  _

**|**

**@nedleeds**

peter is heating up four hot pockets at once, while keeping eye contact with me. His under eye bags are so heavy they can hold the weight of his sins.

**|**

**@nedleeds**

tony just walked in, peter is eating the food even though it just came out of the microwave. mj is nowhere to be found. I think she went home.

**|**

**@nedleeds**

Title update: Episode 1: getting peter to sleep ft. ONE DAD

**|**

**@nedleeds**

tony got peter a glass of milk, risky move. I think he’s waiting for peter to finish his food. peter chugged the whole glass of milk and is giggling about his milk moustache. It’s not that funny.

**|**

**@nedleeds**

Im not gonna alert peter cause I’m in the audience but tony grabbed a big fluffy blanket, surprise it’s Peter’s favorite. TONY JUST GRABBED PETER WITH THE BLANKET HE WENT STRAIGHT IN

**|**

**@nedleeds**

peter barely put up a fight, he was a weak soldier but we will all remember him. he is sleeping with his head on Tony’s lap, he kinda looks like a burrito. 

_ 356,322 comments 398,321 retweets 401,234 likes _

**|**

**@millenialwanda**

this was a ride from start to finish 

**|**

**@shuriwakandian**

nice writing ned:)

**|**

**@mjbitch**

he’s SLEEPING RIGHT???

**|**

**@nedleeds**

confirmed 

**|**

**@mjbitch**

finally god

-

**@shuriwakandian**

we were trying to make an asmr video without waking mj and Ned at a sleepover but they woke up and WE HAD TO PRETEND WE WERE SLEEPING!!! THEY R STILL AWAKE AND PETERS VERY CONVINCING IM SCARED.

_ 234,321 comments 245,322 retweets 298,321 likes _

**|**

**@smallsoldier**

won’t they see this tweet

**|**

**@shuriwakandian**

I blocked them just for this 

**|**

**@gamer**

so brave 

  
  


[DMS]

**@shuriwakandian**

u r so quiet, breathe twice if ur actually awake

**@peterparker** LMAO shuri u know i have my phone too?

**@shuriwakandian**

Im so scared, my heart is racing rn

**@peterparker**

damn live thru it

**@shuriwakandian**

r they really on their phones???traitors

**@peterparker**

we r in far too deep

-

**@harryosborn**

whats up twinks

_ 145 comments 234 retweets 278 likes _

**|**

**@peterparker**

ive missed u <3

**|**

**@harryosborn**

u too man <3

**|**

**@nedleeds**

their bROMANCE is getting too powerful

**|**

**@peterparker**

I had a crush on him ONCE

**|** **  
** **@mjbitch**

more than that but thats ok u can leave that part out

**|**

**@harleykeener**

HE DID WHAT WITH WHO NOW

**|**

**@peterparker**

hello Harley >:(

**|**

**@harleykeener**

peter Parker we chat again >:(

-

**@urmom**

who the fuck is Harley

_ 234 comments 345 retweets 401 likes _

_ - _

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love peter parker so much


	4. peter marries thor uwu

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> read till the end for important message

**@peterparker**

I’m 18 now so that means I can legally marry Thor

_ 456,321 comments 498,322 retweets 501,322 likes _

**|**

**@thor**

very well pete

**|**

**@peterparker**

ok but I’m the groom

**|**

**@thor**

what is a groom

**|**

**@peterparker**

UH HOLY SHIT meet me in the living room STAT

**-**

**@tonystark**

which one of u gave peter a ring

_ 234,321 comments 276,322 retweets 298,422 likes _

**|**

**@peterparker**

I’m married 

**|**

**@harleykeener**

ur 18 and you literally turned 18 THREE HOURS AGO

**|**

**@peterparker**

stfu ur only 19 stop acting Tony’s age old man

**|**

**@tonystark**

ARE YOU CALLING ME OLD

**|**

**@peterparker**

yes

**|**

**@mjbitch**

he is married to Thor

**|**

**@nedleeds**

did u approve 

**|**

**@mjbitch**

yeah besides Thor’s a sweetheart 

**|**

**@thor**

thank you Michelle! we should go out for drinks to celebrate my marriage!!!

**|**

**@nedleeds**

I see

**-**

**@mjbitch**

_ Peteronhisphone.pdf _

hes addicted 

_ 67,322 comments 69,322 retweets 71,322 likes _

**|**

**@shuriwakandian**

IS HE WEARING UR SWEATER

**|**

**@mjbitch**

yes he is small

**|**

**@peterparker**

:(

**|**

**@puffy**

HIS CURLS AHHHH

**-**

**@peterparker**

there is a whole account dedicated to my hair?

_ 143,322 comments 156,321 retweets 198,322 likes _

**|**

**@peterscurls**

talking about me

**|**

**@peterparker**

YES

**|**

**@peterscurls**

ur hair is very fluffy and curly 10/10 would recommend 

**|**

**@mjbitch**

thanks for the recommendation I’ll look into it

**|**

**@mjbitch**

ok question one: do you use conditioner

**|**

**@peterparker**

no

**|**

**@mjbitch**

I’ll take him 

-

**@swollenfluff**

**_@peterparker_ ** do u skate 

_ 243 comments 267 retweets 301 likes _

**|**

**@peterparker**

yeah dude

**|**

**@harryosborn**

he’s a skater yet he doesn’t wear thrasher smh

**|**

**@peterparker**

buy me a thrasher sweater then bitch

**|**

**@harryosborn**

FINE

-

**@nedleeds**

peter and Harley have ear piercings now???

_ 4,311 comments 4,321 retweets 4,983 likes _

**|**

**@tonystark**

WHAT

**|**

**@peterparker**

they r just ear piercings calm down

**|**

**@harleykeener**

yeah dad

**|**

**@tonystark**

I-

**|**

**@peterparker**

I asked May anyway

**|**

**@mjbitch**

MAY I remind you that ur 18 so u don’t need parents permission 

**I |**

**@peterparker**

I see what u did there

-

**@shuriwakandian**

can peter do the splits I’m curious 

_ 134,322 comments 156,322 retweets 198,321 likes _

**|**

**@mjbitch**

yes

**|**

**@nedleeds**

how do u know

**|**

**@mjbitch**

I just do 

**|**

**@harryosborn**

ok then

-

**@tonystark**

can someone explain to me what’s going on

_ 143,322 comments 156,422 retweets 198,422 likes _

**|**

**@harleykeener**

???

**|**

**@tonystark**

THE Peter Parker just chugged like five red bulls and hacked into Friday just to program her to say sicko mode whenever I do anything. 

**|**

**@harleykeener**

give context 

**|**

**@tonystark**

me-brushes teeth

Friday-ya ya sicko mode 

**|**

**@yumad**

can’t believe y’all are geniuses 

**|**

**@shuriwakandian**

me either honestly

**|**

**@harleykeener**

the real question is how did a senior hack into a billionaire GENIUS’ tech

**|**

**@tonystark**

said senior is also a genius 

**|**

**@harleykeener**

pffttt give proof

**|**

**@peterparker**

how did I hear pffttt

**|**

**@tonystark**

I was gonna say that I pretended to give him a application to some college but it was actually a iq test but then he replied with that 

**|**

**@harleykeener**

iq?

**|**

**@tonystark**

250

**|**

**@peterparker**

more like 1 amirite

**|**

**@harleykeener**

That’s not physically possible

**|**

**@peterparker**

GOD do you have to ruin everything 

**|**

**@harleykeener**

yes

-

**@buckyjames**

I’m scared someone send help

_ 143,321 comments 167,422 retweets 198,422 likes _

**|**

**@natasharomanov**

you alright, wimp boy?

**|**

**@peterparker**

I- wimp boy?

**|**

**@natasharomanov**

peter my favorite nephew, call me,,,,now

**|**

**@buckyjames**

does no one care about me

**|**

**@samwilson**

aye what’s wrong wimp boy

**|**

**@buckyjames**

who the fuck invited you bitch

**|**

**@samwilson**

steve did

**|**

**@steverogers**

hi sam

**|**

**@samwilson**

hi steve 

**|**

**@buckyjames**

“hi Bucky” oh hi steve my favorite person in the world “I love you Bucky” I love you too

**|**

**@peterparker**

bucky stfu he literally sleeps with you 

**|**

**@nedleeds**

how can you say something so controversial yet so brave 

**|**

**@natasharomanov**

hello ned,,,,,,good to hear from you!!!

**|**

**@nedleeds**

is she ok

**|**

**@peterparker**

harley taught her how to do excessive commas 

**|**

**@nedleeds**

nice

-

[DMS]

_ 2:45 am _

**@buckyjames:** peter

**@buckyjames:** peter 

**@buckyjames:** peter

**@buckyjames:** peter

**@buckyjames:** peter 

**@buckyjames:** peter

**@peterparker:** GOD WHAT

**@buckyjames:** so you are awake huh.

**@peterparker:** I’m studying now what do u want

**@buckyjames:** I need you to hack Friday for me

**@peterparker** : how much will you give me

**@buckyjames:** my company

**@buckyjames:** FINE I’ll give you fifty

**@peterparker:** k

**@peterparker:** what’s the mission 

**@buckyjames** : every time sam walks in the room make her say bitch

**@peterparker:** ez it will take me five mins

**@buckyjames:** k there’s an avengers meeting so we’ll see his reaction then

**@peterparker:** I don’t think I’ll go, you know to play it safe

**@peterparker:** and tony might ground me so

**@buckyjames:** can he actually ground you?

**@peterparker:** yes 

-

**@tonystark**

PETER PARKER

_ 123,453 comments 166,322 retweets 198,322 likes _

**|**

**@harleykeener**

ur so over dramatic you literally have his number yet you yell at him over twitter 

**|**

**@tonystark**

not now Harley 

**|**

**@harleykeener**

ok

**|**

**@peterparker**

he’s going sicko mode

**|**

**@harleykeener**

you risked everything just to make that joke?

**|**

**@peterparker**

worth it 

**|**

**@tonystark**

peter I know you hacked into Friday, Fury was there. FURY! now I’m FURious, if you’re not at the compound in five minutes you’re grounded. 

**|**

**@nedleeds**

punny

**|**

**@peterparker**

you can’t ground me also don’t say that thing abt pulling may on me cause she’s at work.

**|**

**@harleykeener**

bold of you to assume he needs may to ground you

**|**

**@tonystark**

^

**|**

**@peterparker**

u don’t even know where I am

**|**

**@tonystark**

tracker duh

**|**

**@peterparker**

ok then track me big boy 

**|**

**@mjbitch**

I-

-

**@boombiom**

LMAO THE LAST TWEETS OF PETER AND TONY ARE WILD

_ 342 comments 398 retweets 401 likes _

_ - _

**@mjbitch**

it’s so sad tony actually grounded peter F

_ 132,322 comments 165,322 retweets 198,322 likes _

**|**

**@harleykeener**

I know he’s just sitting there all teary :(

**|**

**@harryosborn**

put pic or it isn’t happening

**|**

**@harleykeener**

_ peterabouttocry.pdf _

**|**

**@nedleeds**

:(sad boy hours:(

**|**

**@shuriwakandian**

lmao the fact that he’s wiping his eyes with Tony’s sweater really makes it better

**|**

**@harleykeener**

I know LMAO

**-**

[DMS]

**@shuriwakandian, @mjbitch, @peterparker, @nedleeds, @harryosborn, @harleykeener**

_ Harley changed the group chat name to  _ **_PETER GOT INTO MCI_ **

**@mjbitch:** WHAT

**@harleykeener:** actually they begged him to come to their college lmao, I read the letter

**@shuriwakandian:** isn’t he still grounded

**@harleykeener:** yes tony doesn’t know so shhh

**@nedleeds:** how long r we keeping this secret for

**@harleykeener:** idk I’ll plan smthing 

**@harryosborn:** text me

**@harleykeener:** I will :)

-

**@peterparker**

I’m ungrounded 

_ 143,322 comments 178,422 retweets 198,322 likes _

**|**

**@bb**

FINALLY we missed u 

**|**

**@flashthompson**

I didn’t

**|**

**@peterparker**

who the fuck asked you

**|**

**@steverogers**

language

**|**

**@peterparker**

why do you now choose to comment

**|**

**@steverogers**

I’m monitoring 

**|**

**@steverogers**

also I’m bored

**-**

**@harryosborn**

I feel like peter has had a crush once on all of us at least once

_ 355 comments 401 retweets 420 likes _

**|**

**@peterparker**

DONT EXPOSE ME

**|**

**@nedleede**

not me :(

**|**

**@peterparker**

dude?? All through middle school

**|**

**@mjbitch**

and freshmen year 

**|**

**@peterparker**

^

**|**

**@nedleeds**

I’m honored 

**|**

**@harleykeener**

also we all had a crush on him at least once

**|**

**@peterparker**

whAT no no no no no

**|**

**@shuriwakandian**

yeah I saw him and was like hmm that white boy kinda cute but got over it a week later lmao

**|**

**@harryosborn**

mj had the guts to ask him out

**|**

**@mjbitch**

I have the balls in the relationship 

**|**

**@peterparker**

it’s sad cause it true

-

**@sendmemes**

**_@peterparker_ ** DATE ME

_ 132 comments 176 retweets 198 likes _

**|**

**@mjbitch**

he’s taken girl :(

**|**

**@sendmemes**

I’m a guy 

**|**

**@mjbitch**

NOT AGAIN 

**|**

**@shuriwakandian**

IM SNEJEJJ

**-**

**@hidjjdjd**

**_@peterparker_ ** have you actually dated a guy

_ 78 comments 90 retweets 97 likes _

**|**

**@harryosborn**

hi

**|**

**@peterparker**

ONE FUCMKRJDN DATE HARRY

**|**

**@hidjjdjd**

date confirmed 

**|**

**@peterparker**

NO

-

**@boomboom**

do the boys actually do anything you guys can relate to?  **_@shuriwakandian @mjbitch_ **

_ 234 comments 245 retweets 299 likes _

**|**

**@mjbitch**

they nap together

**|**

**@sjsjsj**

cutiesssss 

-

**@bbbskake**

I can’t get the image of Harley, Ned, Harry, and Peter napping together out of my head 

_ 103 comments 98 retweets 110 likes _

**|**

**@iloveyoutonystark**

me too 

**|**

**@nedleeds**

who exposed us wtf

**|**

**@harryosborn**

who else

**|**

**@peterparker**

**_@mjbitch_ **

**|**

**@mjbitch**

oops

-

OK LITTLE NOTE IM CHANGING THE FORMAT TO MORE SIMPLE CAUSE I HATE BOLDING IT THEN PUTTING ITALIC IT STRESSES ME OUT THANKS ILY U GUYS MWAH

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey did i mention i love peter parker yet, thanks for ur supportive comments i love u guys


End file.
